BEING A KID

Here’s a condensation of a nice nostalgic poem (author unknown) that got spammed at me.
Although I liked it, I feel obliged to be a responsible spokesman for an opposing viewpoint.

I WANT TO BE A KID AGAIN
I want to go back to the time when:
Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo."
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!"
It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.
A “race issue” meant who could run the fastest.
The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties.
It was magic when dad would "remove" his thumb.
Nobody was prettier than Mom.
Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dare."
Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.
Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin.
"Oly-oly-oxen-free" made perfect sense.
If you can remember most or all of these, then you have lived.

Nostalgia is fuzzy and warm, folks, but let’s not gag on it. Being a kid, even back in the Ozzie-and-Harriet Era, was not really so carefree. To help you be glad that the past is past, here's a glimpse back at the dark side of childhood.
Warning:
Most of these memories are amusing now, but some may still be painful.

I'M GLAD I'M NOT A KID ANYMORE ...
Other kids can be so cruel.
"I don't want to play with you anymore" was a devastating rejection.
"You're not my friend anymore" was the ultimate rejection --
even if it only lasted an hour.
Life and death decisions were made on impulse.
In the elevator, some stranger always stuck a fat ass in my face.
Older kids, even siblings, teased without mercy or compassion.
Dad always cut my hair when it was almost as long I wanted it.
I wasn’t allowed to do things my older siblings were doing.
I wasn’t allowed to do things other kids (said they) were doing.
Pop quizzes caused unspeakable panic.
When I got a 95% on a test, Dad asked why I didn't get 100%.
I had to wear a yellow rain slicker and galoshes with latches --
when it wasn't even raining hard yet.
After the first grade, I was embarrassed by the yarn
running through my overcoat sleeves to connect my mittens.
The "Bulova Watch Time" commercial always reminded Mom
when it was time for me to go to bed.
On long car trips, I never got a window.
On long car trips, I always had to pee; and Dad wouldn't stop the car.
Pets died.
Grandparents -- or a parent or sibling or friend -- died.
Parents argued -- or worse.
Second-hand smoke was everywhere.
Somebody I loved drank too much.
Video games hadn't been invented yet.
If you can identify with some of these,
you have survived the most difficult time of your life.

Remember when HOME meant the place where you lived?