The Attention Deficit Compan
presents

The Long-awaited Sequel to Fiddler on the Roof
Dr. Speedbump hopes it doesn't offend any minorities. It's a parody of the original play, not a political or social statement.

Synopsis of the Story Thus Far:
Tevye, who has 5 daughters, had to sing "Daidle Deedle Daidle Digguh Digguh Deedle Daidle Dum", because it was in the script (just to rhyme with "Biddy Biddy Bum".) Tzeitle broke tradition (tradition) when she married someone other than the Matchmaker’s choice. Hodel ran off to marry a Revolutionary. Chava marries a Gentile (Oi !). Then the villagers of Anatevka were forced to move. Tevye paints his wagon to go to America with his wife, Golde, and their two youngest daughters (Shprinzte and Bielke).

En route to Chicago, the sequel picks up the story:
The family was told that Chicago was at the bottom of Lake Michigan,
so they stayed on the train into Minnesota. Thus,



The SHORT-ATTENTION SPAN PLAYHOUSE
proudly presents:
FIDDLER in DULUTH



SHPRINZTE: Mama, Papa ... this is my fiancÚ, Kareem Abdul. He makes baskets.
PAPA: He’s a black man ... Biddy Biddy Bum ... and his pants are lavender blue, Dilly Dilly.
SHPRINZTE: And he’s a Muslim, too, Papa.
PAPA: You’ll have my Biddy Biddy Bum blessing -- if he is a rich man --
Deedle, Daidle, YadaYada
BIELKE: Papa ... meet my lover, Bobby.
We want to get married and live in International Falls.
PAPA: But Bielke, Bobby has boobs ... Biddy Biddy Bum.
You cannot have my blessing, Bielke. This time it's gone too far. Tradition (tradition) !
No daughter of mine will live in International Falls ... Digguh, Digguh.
(Why am I suddenly thinking about Notre Dame basketball?)

ALL(Singing):
Minnesota, Minnesota
It’s a lot like Anatevka
Underfed, Overworked, Muddy, Messy
Minnesota, Minnesota
Intimate, Obstinate, Golden Gophers
Wrestle with a Governor who they call Jesse

GOLDE: Eh, it’s just a place.
GARRISON (from behind the curtain):
Where the women are strong, the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

THE END (Biddy, Biddy, Bum)