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The Attention Deficit Compan
presents

On Being a Husband
(Long After the Honeymoon)

On the occasion of my 31st wedding anniversary (by coincidence, it was my wife’s, too) I jotted down 31 observations. This year (10-10-10) is our 40th -- so I must have learned nine more things. If only I could remember ...
  1. Listen. Listen. Listen.
  2. Clean it yourself.
  3. Cook.
  4. Never give her a Thigh-Master for Christmas.
  5. Her job, whatever it is, is every bit as important as your job.
  6. It’s not always about you.
  7. It’s not always about her.
  8. It’s not about dirty dishes on the counter, it’s about respect.
  9. Be a gentle man.
  10. There’s always time for a hug.
  11. Share your feelings, not your flatus.
  12. Express yourself. She can’t always read your mind.
  13. Insist on some time and space for yourself.
  14. There’s a difference between “living” and “making a living”.
  15. Don’t work overtime. She’d rather have you than the extra money.
  16. Buying the groceries is the modern and moral equivalent of hunting during the Stone Age.
  17. Men are from Mars and Venus. She’s XX; you’re XY. Let your X shine.
  18. You married her entire dysfunctional family, whether you intended to or not.
  19. Walk side-by-side.
  20. Hold her hand, even at the mall.
  21. Your marriage will drown in alcohol long before your sorrows do.
  22. Show her how strong you can be -- beat the nicotine habit.
  23. Don’t give her an electric frying pan for her birthday..
  24. Be vulnerable -- wearing a shrunken T-shirt is not the way to expose your soft underbelly.
  25. Give in on the little things. They’re often more important than they seem to be.
  26. Don’t be too proud to say you’re sorry; but don’t say it just to shut her up.
  27. Use the power of a flower -- for absolutely no occasion at all.
  28. You can aim -- she can’t -- and she’ll never understand why you don’t.
  29. Listen some more.
  30. The Marine’s are right: Semper fidelis.
  31. Merlin was right: The way to handle a woman is to love her, merely love her, simply love her, love her, love her.


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